A Modest Proposal: Benedict Arnold High School

(The following is satire. Please do not take it literally, but I do ask that you would take it seriously.)

Good citizens, patriots of the highest order,

I write to you with a demand that we, the American populace, celebrate our shared and valued history, our unique national story of origin, and the men, flawed though they may have been, who made this country great. My proposal is simple. With the burgeoning population growth, our district would be well served to commission the construction of a new high school.  It is my humble suggestion is that this school be designated Benedict Arnold Senior High School: Home of the Redcoats.

Just imagine the benefit to our student population as they gather at this new institution, cheering on their red-clad compatriots on the field, gaining a new appreciation for Revolutionary history in front of the Arnold statue guarding the entrance, and mastering the lesson that all loyalty is relative.

Now, of course, let me address the elephant in the room.

Yes, Benedict Arnold was a complicated figure. Some say he was a "traitor" who sought to destroy the young United States. Some say he was a dastardly double-crosser and not the type of man we should honor by naming a school after him.

But, these voices are, in truth, dangerous. Benedict Arnold, nay, Brigadier General Arnold as I shall henceforth recall him, is an important figure in the history of this great nation. We would not be the country that we are without him. How dare we would consider sanitizing history by not honoring a figure like the General! How dare we deny a figure so integral to America!

Those who would seek to silence, to forget, to gloss over General Arnold, they are the problematic ones! They are the real traitors!

So, yes, we can encounter some of the ambiguous aspects of this man, but let us consider his deeper motives. Let us consider that being British is how he was bred. We cannot expect him to suddenly turn his back on his own! Let us consider that he was a devoted family man who fathered eight children! Let us consider that he was a product of his time!

"Tradition, not treason" as I like to say!

I know some may get caught up that General Arnold sought to kill American soldiers, that he sought to do so on behalf of an enemy army, and that he tried to hand over West Point to the British, but look at all there is to value in such a man, namely: loyalty, patriotism, and protection of a way of life.

We need to teach our students about loyalty. We can do this by acknowledging General Arnold's missteps, but we can also do so through an examination of his life in context. He served in not one, but two armies! What valor! What loyalty! The General's loyalty can be seen that he did not merely trade sides to the Redcoats at no cost, but rather negotiated a payment AND an annual pension in exchange for his services. This man was bought, but not easily. He was a man of loyalty.

We need to teach our students about patriotism. General Arnold fought for the nation that he believed in and though, yes, that nation was not the United States, and while yes, they were defeated, is it not ultimately more patriotic to fight on behalf of a losing cause that one believes in. Just think of our fellow honorees Generals Robert E. Lee and Stonewall Jackson, who we have named many schools after! (Not that we could ever draw a parallel between these situations. That would be absurd). Brigadier General Arnold fought for his nation(s)! A patriot without equal!

We need to teach out students about protecting their way of life. Protecting our traditions (tradition, not treason, right?). More than 40 million Americans identify as having British ancestry. How can we not celebrate their cultural lineage? Do we not speak their language? Do we not eat their delicious cuisine like fish and chips and . . . baked goods. General Benedict Arnold, though born in Connecticut, knew nothing of a United States of America as you and I do, what he did know was Great Britain and how dare we penalize him for simply protecting his own way of life! How dare we withhold memorializing him because he dared to preserve his culture!

Yes indeed, we all make mistakes and all have parts of our past we might not want highlighted, but in the midst of it all, let us not forget our heroes. Let us not forget our turncoats either. So join me, will you not? Three cheers for Benedict Arnold Senior High opening soon on Jefferson Davis Memorial Parkway!

Hip hip . . . .