"Not My Fault" and Hope

We were less than ten minutes into day one of our new year at the elementary program and our intern Marcus was introducing what we would be doing each week. By way of conversation, when he came to Bible Time, he asked the kids, "How many of you have a Bible at home?"

One of our new students raised his hand and said, "I don't. My dad can't afford one." A few kids laughed and he quickly and blankly replied, "What? It's not my fault."

And you know what? He was right. It's not.

Immediately this brought to mind, a line from a Tim Keller sermon. To paraphrase he says, "In our society, there are different explanations for intractable problems like poverty that can be found in schools across our city. Some people say, it's all about systems and structures that funnel people into negative outcomes. Others say it's about personal responsibility and choices that lead to a downward spiral. But what nobody says is that it's the kids' fault."

You certainly have an opinion about what causes and reinforces poverty, I know I do, but I think we do well when we frame our attitude and response in line with this anecdote. Someone can address root causes and solutions from a variety of perspectives, but if that approach starts from a point of view that fails to see the person truly stuck in the midst, it won't go far. And worse yet, it may dehumanize the person on the other side of that "good work".

We live in a world full of aphorisms that oversimplify a the complexity of poverty. But, in the hopes of expanding and enhancing our mindset, allow me to briefly respond back to some of these:

"You got to pull yourself up by your bootstraps."  

            "What if you don't have boots?"

"Let's focus on the deserving poor."  

            "Aren't you glad Jesus didn't choose to only come for the deserving sinners?"

"The problem is laziness." 

            "Let's trade eyes sometime and I'll show you the single moms I know who catch three buses to two jobs each day."

"Don't let the government support you." 

            "Do you know how big the gap was between what the State of Wisconsin paid vs my tuition in college? Me and anyone else at a state school were easily receiving more welfare than folks on food stamps."

Sometimes, I think back on interactions I had in my first few years here and shudder at my ignorance. The combination of being 23 and thinking I had all the solutions and having lived in a very different world created some major gaps. I saw situations and missed the nuance. I offered solutions that were no solution at all. But, most concerning, in doing so I created an unhealthy, unbalanced, unfruitful dynamic.

For example, let's just take one family as an example. At this time the middle son was spending most of his time at the library to use the internet for video games even though he was of "working age". In my mind, I felt like there was a laziness that I needed to fix, but I was missing context.

This young man had an older brother who was a manager at a fast food restaurant. He saw a commercial for a college at the mall. He talked to them about their Criminal Justice program with the goal of becoming a police officer and was upfront that he had an old, non-violent felony conviction. They assured him he could still reach that dream, that they had contacts, that they would get his record expunged, and signed him up and gladly took all his Pell Grant money. He got a bachelor's degree. He went to apply to be a cop . . . and got laughed out of the building. They said, "Not only would we never hire you, no one will even let you be a security guard with a record." So, he went back to fast food.

This young man had a mom who had talked about taking night classes so she could advance at her job. She talked about it a lot. She made a plan. But then, a family crisis hit and instead of school, she needed to pick up more shifts in the evenings.

This young man had a sister who had dropped out of high school. A recruiter from another one of these colleges at the mall told her she could sign up for college classes and get her diploma at the same time. All she needed to do was sign some paperwork to agree to send some money their way. She started school, but she couldn't keep up and she dropped out of that program only a few weeks later. In the years to come, a Senate investigation would show these "colleges" intentionally over-enrolled their classes using formulas to 1) target the poor, 2) access their scholarships, and 3) intended for high drop-out rates so they could hire a limited staff, but still collect the full tuition. They had PowerPoint presentations, scripts, recruiter training videos, and everything the prove that their active business plan was "mistreat and swindle the poor".

So, now, look back at this young man sitting at the library. If this is your family history, video games sounds a lot more appealing right? Everyone you know that tried to "better themselves" ended up worse off than where they started. In a certain angle, he was acting rationally.

And this isn't just anecdotal, the well-known sociologist William Julius Wilson described this phenomena by calling it "ghetto nihilism". When faced with (near) impossible odds, some individuals in neglected communities will do the math and decide its hopeless and therefore choose to not even try.

This isn't a good approach. It's not a righteous approach. But I can understand it. It's pragmatic.

But, there's good news here. First, against all odds that young man is doing well now. But second, there is a way forward. I have had to learn to hold these two things in tension: the challenges and the hard steps necessary to overcome them. In empathy, we are called to say, "This is so hard and I am with you in this." Having someone in our corner really can make all of the difference and that's why relational neighboring is at the center of all we do here.

But, we don't just stop at faithful presence, we also must say, "What's the next step you can take?" and keep moving their (and our) progress forward. This is highly relational. It is long-term. It will take many people pushing together in the same direction. It doesn't happen overnight, but there is hope.

And hope is powerful. Hope is a gospel message. 

In hope, Jesus healed, taught, and lived amongst his people.

In hope, Jesus loved those who were actively against him.

In hope, Jesus defeated death and rose back to life (what could be more hopeful in dire times than that!)

In a world where people are faced with hopeless situations, Jesus steps in--literally becomes flesh in our terrestrial realm--and says, "I'm with you to the very end of the age."

For me and for you and for Brentwood, we all need the reminder that He's here and with us in the midst and for the journey forward.

Numbers

 *For the past 5-ish years I have written poetry that I've sworn would never see the light of day. It's a meaningful practice for me. The art of language opens my brain to think in a new (better?) way. I don't make any effort to promote this blog and since I stopped using Facebook its readership is down at least 80%, so this feels like a safe space to "be brave" and share some of these words. I share these not for any accolade, but because I think putting it on the record makes it a little more real. 

Written 12-3-2021

Numbers

Miss Judy said I made her day.

        Increase of Quality of Life: 11%

Lynn returned after the death of a child.

        Loneliness rate falls 21 points.

Leroy cried about his lost bride.

       What's the ROI on the tears of an elderly Black man?

Gratitude for the Awful Film

 I saw a bad movie Saturday night and I'm so thankful. I'm not thankful because of the acting or direction or some other element of the production redeemed the film. No, I'm thankful because all art exists as an opportunity to show us more about the human experience, God's creation, and one another. And, don't get me wrong, this film was terrible, but it still checks all the above boxes. And before get too far down the thought process, I won't be naming the movie, other than to say, it is nominated for multiple Oscars . . .  go watch more movies. Even (especially?) the bad ones.

You can most certainly feel free to disagree with the following statement, but I ascertain that people are drawn together in a particularly unique way by shared experiences. Positive or negative. We all gather together for milestones like weddings and graduations. We all look back together (usually) fondly at trips whether they be excursions to a state park or longer getaways to far off places. There is a bonding experience to a shared experience by the very fact that is has mutuality. We were all in it together.

So the next time I meet someone who saw this particular film (which again I won't be naming to protect the guilty), I'll ask them a few preliminarily questions and then if I can sense their shared disapproval, we will share in one of the most unique of human experiences: joining together to laugh and commiserate at all the awful elements of this movie. And it will be wonderful. (If this comes to pass) that person and I will share a forever bond based on our shared experience. It will build us up and connect us.

****

But, I fear a world is coming where this type of experience will no longer be possible (or increasingly hard to find). We are not too far off from a world of media personalization. For a long time, we have been able to channel surf our way away from our non-preferred content and this has only been heightened in the era of streaming, but with the rise of increasingly powerful artificial intelligence, we are headed for a world where entire narratives will have the ability to be tailored to our exact tastes.

It is not at all an exaggeration to say that five years from now, you and I might select the same series on Netflix, but have our individualized AI algorithms generate two completely different narratives for us.

I remember once going to see a film with a group of friends that had a small subplot about the occult and one person in the group had a strong distaste for anything involving that topic and as a result, she said the whole movie was ruined for her. We are fast approaching a future, where she could state that preference in a setting menu (or the algorithm would learn it for her) and that entire storyline would be removed from the movie. She could watch the film and have a completely different plot presented to her based on her predetermined preferences.

Do you only like happy endings? Done. They are all that will exist.

Would you prefer all your stories feature a protagonist who looks like your favorite actor? The AI can arrange that.

Do you want a total lack of complexity and for good and evil to be starkly defined? We'll hook you up!

You see, if everything can be carefully crafted to fit my preferred taste, not only am I being robbed of a diverse experience, but as I move about the world my connection with others will be forever altered.

I will admit this is an extreme example, but can you imagine if you and a friend both saw Schindler's List* post-AI and one of you said "Wow, that was inspiring!" and another said, "Um, I'm kinda depressed." Only to find out you've been served two different tones of film based upon your proclivities?

As we enter a new technological** era, it will be more important than ever to remember our humanity, to remember our individualization, and how it goes along with our shared experience of the world.

So, watch terrible movies and (tactfully) share your animus towards them with your friends! To do so is to be human!

*A friend of mine and I watched Schindler's List immediately before attending a graduation party, pictures still exist online of us at that party with forlorn faces surrounded by partygoers. Wild stuff.

**I misspelled this word and AI asked me if I wanted it to "Help me write?" I said no thanks. Just to help this broader conversation, I do use these tools multiple times a week, but when it comes to the arts, I'll be passing.

Welfare State

In the book of Jeremiah's 29th chapter the prophet delivers God's message to the captives living in exile in Babylon. This group had been separated from their culture, their homeland, and their family. Further, their entire worldview was very keenly built around the importance of that "promised land" so God's message to them was certainly expected to be one about a victorious return and the downfall of their enemies.

But instead here is what Jeremiah relayed as the directive:

"Build homes, and plan to stay. Plant gardens, and eat the food they produce. Marry and have children. Then find spouses for them so that you may have many grandchildren. Multiply! Do not dwindle away! And work for the peace and prosperity of the city where I sent you into exile. Pray to the LORD for it, for its welfare will determine your welfare." (Jeremiah 29:5-7 NLT)

These words have been foundational in my life. I still remember exactly where I was sitting at my college church the first time I heard this passage preached on. I could write many, many paragraphs about the implications here for our lives. We could do a deep dive into the Hebrew word translated as "peace and prosperity" here, which is "shalom", and all its multi-faceted meanings and applications.

But, I'll refrain from that book-length treatment1 to just focus on the sentence:

"Pray to the LORD for it, for its welfare will determine your welfare"

These words had to cut deep to the original audience as the Babylonians were their literal kidnappers and oppressors. But, this command may also sting to our modern ears from a different angle. In an individualist society, we do not like the implication that our well-being is tied up with anyone else's. We are a people who are taught to "make your own luck" and "watch out for number one". For many of us, we know that these self-serving aphorisms are not exactly aligned with the Sermon on the Mount, but I would argue even if we outright reject them they still influence our way of thinking and seeing the world.

I remember when I was two weeks into a yearlong overseas assignment and we had a training about cultural adjustment. Everyone listed out the top values of their culture or subculture and shared them with the group. Then our teachers told us that we needed to be aware because these values were going to be violated in our new world. I sat there thinking, "Why do we need to waste time talking about all of the sinful, anti-Christian patterns of America? I'm don't ascribe to those things. Let's just focus on the good news."

But in truth, as an American I'm full of American values, good, bad, or indifferent. And within two weeks of that conversation I found myself standing in a line for a street vendor complaining in my mind about how inefficient, inconvenient, and unfair this system was and I had to catch my self with Method Man in the Wire gif (as seen below for the uninitiated).

So all of this to say, we are of a people that see the world through individual eyes and that can stretch us when we're commanded to care for the welfare of those not like us. To the original audience, these were their literal geo-political and day-to-day enemies, but the command is applicable to all of us that in our project of shalom-making the well-being of all is determined together.

In his great Letter from the Birmingham Jail, Martin Luther King Jr writes:

"We are caught up in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment on destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly."

This is another way of rendering verse seven. We're in this together. Because of the shared image of God within each of us, because of the requirements of love of neighbor, and because simple interconnectivity in the modern world, what happens to one of us ought to matter for all of us.

In a local context here in Jacksonville, we can state this as: If Brentwood is not ok, then the beaches are not ok. And if 103rd is not ok, then Mandarin is not ok. More broadly we can say, if Jacksonville is not ok then Omaha is not ok. And if Jakarta is not ok than Boston is not ok. And vice versa.

We need to care for one another because we share a common garment. The prescription may have varied forms in each case, but one thing we know is that indifference is not an option. The Jesuit theologian James Keenan summarizes this with, "Sin is the failure to bother to love."

Because we're all together, let us care, let us love, and let our welfare be dependent on one another.

1: If you want that book-length treatment, our team just finished Church Forsaken by Jonathan Brooks of Chicago and its quite excellent.

According to the Bible . . .

According to the Bible, the following people were created in the image of God:

You firstborn child
Your grandmother
The grocery store cashier

Your best friend

That cute baby you saw at the park

The grocery shelf stocker

Your algebra teacher

A Japanese kid's algebra teacher

Someone buying their groceries with food stamps

The marketer who wants you to buy that specific cereal at the grocery store

A migrant crossing the Rio Grande

Someone shoplifting groceries

Drug addicts

Drug dealers

A bus driver in Sri Lanka

Somali immigrants

Your dentist's cousin

A teenager watching an ISIS recruiting video online

The person playing an extra in the background of that TV show

Your favorite politician

Your least favorite politician

Scientists in Antarctica

Border patrol agents

Astronauts in a space station

A trans woman

An anti-trans protestor

A man on death row

An award winning musician

According to the Bible, the following people are your neighbor:

You firstborn child
Your grandmother
The grocery store cashier

Your best friend

That cute baby you saw at the park

The grocery shelf stocker

Your algebra teacher

A Japanese kid's algebra teacher

Someone buying their groceries with food stamps

The marketer who wants you to buy that specific cereal at the grocery store

A migrant crossing the Rio Grande

Someone shoplifting groceries

Drug addicts

Drug dealers

A bus driver in Sri Lanka

Somali immigrants

Your dentist's cousin

A teenager watching an ISIS recruiting video online

The person playing an extra in the background of that TV show

Your favorite politician

Your least favorite politician

Scientists in Antarctica

Border patrol agents

Astronauts in a space station

A trans woman

An anti-trans protestor

A man on death row

An award winning musician

According to the Bible, you are commanded to love your neighbor.

"Listen . . ." Rest in Peace to a Legend of a Neighbor

A couple months after I arrived in Jacksonville in 2009, the women's ministry from one of our church partners put together Christmas baskets for us to share with families in the neighborhood. We had one left and my boss had an idea where to stop. This was my first time meeting Ronald Wesley Pauline, as he was always careful to introduce himself. When he saw us coming, his first question was, "You got any brandy in there?" This was my clue that Mr. Ron might be a different kind of neighborhood partner.

Mr. Ron grew up in Jacksonville in a very different era and had fond memories of the olden days that he was happy to share with all. He later went to Florida A&M and then spent over four decades in St. Paul, Minnesota doing community development there before retiring back to Jacksonville about twenty years ago. Upon coming home, he bought a house in Brentwood, which had been a segregated middle-class white neighborhood when he was growing up and he'd always thought the neighborhood had beautiful gardens. So, he moved into that neighborhood he'd never been accepted in before and pretty quickly his retirement turned into starting a new organization that built more than 20 houses in the neighborhood. But being a community developer, he always carried an emphasis that his goal was for these first-time home buyers to put down long-term roots in the community. The last home he built was my house, in fact. He then re-retired and started a garden on Basswood Street. 

He ran that Community Nutritional Garden for about eight years before handing it over the 2nd Mile a few years ago. Even though we became the legal owners he was a constant presence. Anytime we had an event at the garden he was sure to stop by and he wasn't shy to share ideas for improvements (and his disapproval of any changes we made in the space). Over the years, hundreds of our college mission team students volunteered with Mr. Ron as he both put them to work at the garden and cleaning up the streets, but also offered to them any and all wisdom he had to offer. 

I can still clearly picture the time a group of 25 students from Wisconsin were set to work with Mr. Ron as gray clouds started to gather overhead. Mr. Ron had them circle up and talked to them for over 45 minutes about community, neighborhood values, life choices, and a myriad of other topics before abruptly closing with, "Anyways, I knew it was going to rain today but I thought you should hear all that" and then dismissed them.

Mr. Ron could always be counted on to come out for the community as well. He was a fixture at our neighborhood meetings with a very clear concern that the work he cared about and the ideas he held dear would be passed along to future generations. Ideas like neighborhood pride, personal responsibility, collaboration, and respect for elders were guaranteed to come up in any conversation.

But, most of all, Mr. Ron was a member of our community here. Someone who wasn't shy to help or ask for help. He coordinated free mulch and fertilizer deliveries to the garden along with driving the truck (as long as we had the manpower to move it). He built relationships that could benefit the neighborhood. And we helped back, at times I served as his secretarial staff typing up letters for him or making photocopies.

Mr. Ron had many favorite idioms and mannerisms, but the one standing out the most was the way he started a new thought. In a deep-toned voice, with a guttural emphasis on the first syllable, and an elongation of the word he would project, "Lisss-ten . . ." then say something about child-rearing or yardwork or community care or non-profit management. He had a lot of opinions. Not all of them popular ones. And over time, I gained the relational capital where I could let him know when I disagreed because I certainly did a fair amount of the time. 

But, much like those college kids stuck in conversation as the rain rolled in, what I came to know was that the listening was an important part of our mission. When his truck pulled up outside our office, I knew my productivity would be put on hold for the next 45 minutes because that's the minimum length this conversation was going to be (as he got older it was going to take at least five minutes for him to get in and out!). In all these conversations though the concern was real. He wanted to check in. He wanted to hear me—for the fiftieth time—share what our mission was and ask clarifying questions (some of our particular values around Christian Community Development still never quite jibed with him). Over the years, I learned that taking those 45 minutes was absolutely good for me. Because if I can't take that time to love and listen to the community member in front of me, I've lost sight of the goal altogether.

Mr. Pauline received our Brentwood Hero award a couple years ago

In the past couple years, Mr. Ron paid us two of the greatest compliments I've ever gotten.

First, I'm always self-conscious of what our office looks like. There are any number of papers, supplies, and projects in various stages of completion scattered about; the walls are covered in a combination of memories, clipboards (to go with those projects), and inside jokes; and all of us share a small space that also serves as our volunteer break area and storage closet. What I'm trying to say is, it's a mess and we need to sweep more. 

And Mr. Ron had no time for mess. He once printed a t-shirt for the neighborhood association that said, "Cleanliness is next to Godliness" in bold letters and I had to convince him that this wasn't actually a verse in the Bible (I'm still not sure he agreed though). But, anyways, one day he came into our office, sank into a chair and said, "I like this office. It shows that you're actually doing things, not just talking about them."

I think a could have cried tears of joy.

In another case, less than a year ago, we were having a community association meeting and everyone was going around introducing themselves. While I always knew Mr. Ron generically appreciated us, I sometimes wondered to what degree he also just sort of put up with our shenanigans. But at that meeting, after his usual introduction he added more, "I'm Ronald Wesley Pauline and I've been working alongside 2nd Mile here for about 20 years and want to support what they're doing." To have him actively identify with us and our goals was truly one of the best votes of confidence we could ever get.

Last week, Mr. Ron passed away at 86. He would never let anyone forget his age. It was a proud accomplishment of his. We're going to miss him around here. But his legacy will be felt everyday--literally every time I walk through the doorway of my home—but also in how we become neighbors, listeners, and co-laborers towards the good of this neighborhood this and every day going forward.

Rest well, Mr. Ron.

The People We Are Becoming

At this moment, I'm seeing a lot of conversation about the deserving or undeserving poor, about government benefits, and about food stamps. It sparks a few thoughts and concerns. I'm concerned for the 42 million Americans who are on the verge of losing their SNAP benefits (colloquially known as food stamps). This is an acute crisis and while many generous people will step up and help bridge this gap, many will inevitably fall through the cracks.

But I'm also concerned for those who aren't directly impacted. In at least three ways, I'm concerned about their place, their path, and their perpetuity.1

First, while placing a large grain of salt on the table acknowledging that "the internet isn't real life", lots of people online are showing that they don't interact with (at least knowingly) anyone who depends on food stamps. But, through my neighborhood I have daily proximity to people on SNAP. I know that people need it. And if it goes away, they still will find ways to eat, but that means they might not pick up their prescriptions anymore. Or the electricity might get cut off. There will be inevitable knockdown effects. When you know real people in your real life, it is much harder to cast aspersions about the "deserving poor". If you don't believe me, come trade places with us sometime.

Beyond this however, those without residential proximity to the poor actually are interacting with people on SNAP on a daily basis. Unfortunately, its not as brothers and sisters at church or neighbors invited over to their porch. They are the service workers checking out your groceries, cleaning up at the hospital, and serving as crossing guards to get your kids across the street. And the reality is, the price of those groceries is directly impacted by the fact that those workers earn a low wage that necessities extra assistance. Unless you are lobbying for Walmart to raise their prices so they can increase their worker's salaries, I don't want to hear about freeloaders.2

Next, we can engage in a healthy discussion about government services and economic policies, but what we cannot do is defame the image of God in other people created and loved by Jesus. This is not an option. Comments along the lines of "42 million people will lose food stamps, but 39 million of them need to get a job" or worse are destructive for both the subject and the speaker.

Each of us is constantly being formed into something heavenly or something dastardly. I've come to believe this at my core. The regenerative and redemptive power of the Holy Spirit means that all things can be worked for good and that in all places and times we can call upon Him for help as he molds and shapes us, but we are still responsible for the trajectory our lives take. Comments like those above harden hearts. They make us ugly inside (and outside). They make us look like something other than "little Christs".

In The Great Divorce, C.S. Lewis applies this metaphor to imagine the afterlife as a place where Hell is a place occupied by those who continue on in a d-o-w-n-w-a-r-d trajectory for eternity. A place where souls are given the freedom to give into bitterness and selfishness ad infinitum. It's an exceedingly ugly picture. We do well to consider how we are allowing ourselves to be formed today by the voices we listen to, the talking points we espouse, and the level of vitriol we are willing to tolerate. If you find yourself surrounded by these voices, it will benefit your soul to shut them out. If you allow me to make a provocative statement, a lot of American Christians would need to treat dehumanizing political content the same way they approach explicit sexual content. Get a filter. Get an accountability group. Repent.

Finally, these times bring up a concern for the eternity of those cheering on cuts to SNAP. I'm not a fire and brimstone guy, but I do take seriously the text of Matthew 25, from which I agree with the interpretation that it tells us that "justice is the grand symptom of a real relationship with God."3

The Rev. James Forbes has said "Nobody gets to Heaven without a letter of reference from the poor" and I think he strikes the chord just right. If Jesus (and Paul and Moses and Isaiah and Amos and Augustine and Calvin and . . .) have told us that doing right by the poor is part of the Christian life we don't get to disagree and still call ourselves Christians. You can disagree4, but, you don't get to treat the poor with disdain and claim the name of Christ. You might follow a religion of Westernism or Americanism or Christendom, but it's not being shaped by Jesus. He won't recognize or claim it.

Proverbs 14:31 tell us "Whoever oppresses the poor taunts his Maker, but he who is gracious to the needy honors him."

Let us act, speak, and believe in line with his will.

1: Give me bonus points for alliteration

2: A 2020 study found that Walmart is one of the largest employers of SNAP recipients in the nation and that the overwhelming majority of SNAP beneficiaries are full-time workers. In Arkansas, where Walmart is headquartered, over 3% of the state's total SNAP recipients are Walmart employees.

3: "A deep social conscience, and a life poured out in service to others, especially the poor, is the inevitable sign of real faith, and justice is the grand symptom of a real relationship with God. If you know Him, it will be there. It may come slowly, but it will come. If it doesn’t, you don’t have the relationship you think you have. Do you understand that this is at the heart of biblical faith? Do you see the importance of justice?" Tim Keller from an October 2005 Sermon

4: And again you can disagree on the role of government in this action, but if that's your position you need to be living a life that actively combats poverty in great and small ways.

*The title of this blog post is a nod to the excellent album by Christian hip hop artist nobigdyl. (make sure you spell it right, all lowercase with a period at the end). He's great.