Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Wednesday Night Stories: The Wee Pee

I hear its snowing a lot up North, eh? It was almost 80 where I was at today. I don't say that to be mean, just an observation.

What? I like snow.

In honor of the great snow of the winter of 2010-11, tonight one of the more fantastic stories ever to come out of the life of Marti. Enjoy.

My family wasn't huge on traditions growing up. We don't have all that many. But, perhaps our most consistent was that every year on Thanksgiving weekend, we would choose, chop down, and decorate our Christmas tree. No matter the conditions we would go.

My junior year of college was particularly snowy before Thanksgiving. This can be dangerous when hunting for a Christmas tree. Snow could obscure obvious defects in a potential tree. Lying on the ground to cut the trunk is uncomfortable. And worst of all, your shoes will get wet.

Unless, you have a plan.

And Marti, for those who don't know, my mother's name is Marti, and from her spring all things entertaining, Marti always has a plan.

Marti hasn't build a snow fort in years (for shame), so she does not own a pair of snow boots. But she had her own solution, which she was very proud of.

Displayed here is that solution, which she was very proud of.

Marti attached a plastic grocery bag to each foot. Pulled it over her shoe and pant leg and then wrapped rubber bands around her leg to make a waterproof seal, which she was very proud of.

Yes, it looked ridiculous. Especially while she walked around the house with them on for a half hour before we left to go tree hunting, because, she was very proud of her "booties" as she called them.

Another family tradition is getting lost on the way to the tree farm. Even though we usually go to the same place and its only 10 miles from our house, we have never made it there in under 45 minutes, but this worked out well for Marti as it gave her extra time to discuss her booties with everyone in the car, because she was very proud of them.

They were ingenious.

They were cost effective.

They were clever.

They were a good use of "reduce, reuse, recycle."

They were waterproof.

So after our traditional 45 minute trek, we arrived at the tree farm and headed for the back where the "big trees" are kept. We picked a spot to pull off the path and all jumped out into the 3 or 4 inches of packed snow.

Bruce (my dad), one of my sisters, me, my friend Tim, Marti, and her booties (which she was very proud of) got out.

There was not even enough time to look at the trees immediately in front of us when I heard a sound to my left.

"Whoooooop, smu" (poof)

I looked over to find Marti sitting in the snow, just four feet from the car.

She had made a slight miscalculation. As it turns out, putting a layer of slick plastic on the bottom of the feet is more akin to wearing skis than "booties." So, my mother, only made it two step outside the car before her booties (which she was very proud of) became her literal downfall.

As soon as she hit the ground, Marti yelled out, "Ooops, that's a wee pee."

As I heard the words, there was a moment of confusion and then joy and then disgust then elation.

As for what a wee pee is. You'll just have to ask Marti. If you aren't her friend, add her here:

All I'll say is that is that its a common phenomena in women who have given birth when they are laughing or surprised and that Marti was walking a little strange the rest of the trip.

Please ask Marti.